Sex and the Superman

How Clark Kent got his groove back
Lois and Clark have changed, too. Initially Clark was a coward and Lois had nothing but disdain for him. (“The Spineless worm! I can hardly bear looking at him!” she thinks in Action Comics No. 5.) She’d play him for a sap and try to scoop him; he’d use his super powers to scoop her back. Eventually they became friends, but by the 1950s they were both sexless creatures, and Lois was less interested in making passes at Superman than in tricking him into marrying her. She got her own comic book but was a secondary character within it; Betty Freidan would understand. Meanwhile Clark was the man in the blue flannel suit. In the George Reeves TV show, and in all the cartoons, Clark was as stalwart and upright as Superman, making for a pretty lousy disguise.

1978’s “Superman: The Movie,” starring Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder reintroduced the meek Clark Kent and the career-oriented Lois Lane. This Lois had less disdain for Clark but still lusted after Superman. “What color underwear am I wearing?” she asked during their first interview.  Dude, she’s flirting with you. Between his boy scout pronouncements, he flirted back. He wound up ignoring the advice of both his fathers to turn back time for her. That’s how much he cared. In “Superman II,” he finally beds her, or she him, but he has to stop being super in order to do it. Millions of women nodded and said, “Ain’t that the truth.”

Reeve was not only our best Superman, he was our best Clark Kent; he played them as if they were two different characters, which they are. But recent incarnations have taken a cue from John Byrne’s revisionist Superman of the 1980s, in which Byrne decided (or realized) that this person was always Clark Kent first, Superman second. He grew up as Clark. Thus Superman was the disguise. Why hide your true self to benefit your disguise?

Recent TV shows have focused almost exclusively on Clark. On “Lois & Clark,” the main tension is the workplace tension (sexual/romantic) between the title characters. Lois, of course, prefers Superman, but Clark is the hottie here. Besides the clothes and the posture and the voice, the two physical differences between Clark Kent and Superman are the glasses Clark wears and the curl over Superman’s forehead — because dashing men of adventure always have hair falling over their foreheads. But in this version Superman’s hair is slicked back while Clark’s falls dashingly over his forehead. The glasses aren’t even nerdish anymore; they’re designer glasses that look cool. For women, it’s just another thing to strip off him. In the first episode, a villainess flirts with Clark. The Daily Planet’s gossip columnist whistles long and low upon seeing him. “Who’s the new tight end?” she purrs.

NBC VIDEO Superman gay? Village Voice columnist Michael Musto and VH1 commentator Bex Schwartz talk to MSNBC-TV’s Randy Meier about "The Advocate" magazine’s story that asked "How gay is Superman?" MSNBC

The current show “Smallville,” goes further. It’s all Clark all the time. The producers came up with an early rule — No tights, no flights — and they’ve adhered to it.

“Smallville” is actually one of the best revisionist looks at the Superman myth. The Kryptonian baby arrives during a meteor shower that does bad stuff to people in Smallville — giving him requisite “supervillains” to battle. Clark’s own powers accumulate via a kind of super-adolescence he doesn’t understand. Only slowly does he learn where he’s from and much of that knowledge is unwanted. The show is one long bildungsroman. We know what he will become, and it’s fun watching him not quite get there.

Initially this Clark was the town nerd who fumbled and collapsed around Lana Lang because of her kryptonite necklace, but eventually it became silly pretending actor Tom Welling wasn’t 6-foot-3 and model-handsome. So they didn’t. They fetishized him. Many episodes wind up with Clark tied up and/or shirtless. “Who’s the hottie in the primary colors?” says a new girl in town. The first time Lois Lane sees him he’s standing in a field without a stitch on. This is Clark for girls as opposed to boys. He’s mild-mannered, hot and rescues everyone. Clark isn’t an everyman here, he’s a superman. The break hasn’t been made yet.

Gay Jewish Jesus Nephew
“Superman Returns” returns much of the myth to its classic state. Clark Kent is not only not a hottie, he’s hardly Lois’ friend. Lois is career-oriented again. Lex Luthor is a mad scientist, Superman is all-powerful, Perry White says “Great Caesars Ghost!”

(WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.)

It’s less a reimagining of the myth than a continuation of the mythic storyline. The romantic triangle has now become a quadrangle. Lois is involved with Perry White’s nephew, Richard White, played by James Marsden, who also played Cyclops in the X-Men series and is thus developing a habit of playing the guy you don’t want the girl to choose. Lois also has a kid. She has a Pulitzer. And she’s pissed off at Superman for leaving without saying goodbye. The special effects are great but the true drama is in the relationships. Particularly one relationship.

Lois won her Pulitzer with the sour-grapes editorial “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman,” and our own mainstream media are now taking their cues from it. They’re asking: Is Superman still “relevant” (i.e., profitable) in a moviegoing world that loves the dark suits and darker attitudes of the X-Men? Superman’s all red undies and boy scout niceties. Will the kids still dig him?

Here’s an answer. His relevance can be seen in how many groups are still laying claim to him. Some say he’s Jewish (fleeing a planetary holocaust, hiding in plain sight). Some say he’s gay (a secret life, changing in closets, flamboyant outfit). Some say he’s Jesus (sent by his heavenly father to show humans the light).

Me? I say he’s my nephew. Last Christmas I bought him a Superman T-shirt and now it’s all he can talk about. “You not Superman,” he tells anyone who’ll listen. “I Superman!” He’s three.

Will the kids still dig him?

What a dumb question. Of course they will. He’s Superman.

Erik Lundegaard is a mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan Web site. He can be reached at:

MORE FROM SUPERMAN RETURNS

Review: ‘Superman’ is back on track

Review: ‘Superman’ is back on track Unknowns: More powerful than locomotives Sex and the Superman Are we having fun yet, Kevin Spacey? Newsweek: Bryan Singer takes a flying leap Fit List: The Superman workout It’s a bird, it’s a plane ... it’s a Super-quiz! Superman: A who’s  who   Images: Meet the many Men of Steel Cosmic Log: The science behind Superman   Add Superman Returns headlines to your news reader: