Landis has a degenerative condition in his right hip. After he finishes celebrating his Tour victory, he will undergo hip replacement surgery. Landis kept it a secret the past two years because he didn’t want anyone to tap him on the shoulder one day and tell him his dream is over.

Also, Landis had the Tour lost after a disastrous stage 16 in the Alps, when he dropped from first to 11th. But he rallied in the final Alpine stage and Saturday’s time trial to all but assure Sunday’s victory pedal.

Therefore, the French could not produce a cyclist — either from within its own borders or by special treaty with another nation — to end the U.S. stranglehold on the Tour de France. Instead, they were beaten again by an American, this time by someone who can’t even walk without experiencing severe pain.

Maybe if French leaders scour their country, they can find someone who is bedridden with arthritis, or a nice leper. Anything would have to be better than what they’re putting up on two wheels now.

Out of 176 entrants in this year’s race, the French managed to place Cyril Dessell in seventh place and Christophe Moreau in eighth. Those were the only two Frenchmen to finish in the top 20, and usually such finishes are not enough to earn an audience with Jacque Chirac. If they want recognition, their best bet at this point is to head-butt each other.

I’m sure the French have alternatives. One of their favorites is to hound the American winner for possible drug use, although so far those efforts has proved to be as empty as a good bottle of Bordeaux after an adulterous tryst. In this case, it probably would be wise to avoid hurling allegations at Landis, because the laws associated with his strict Mennonite upbringing are probably more severe than anything the International Cycling Union or the World Anti-Doping Agency could devise.

The cycling world has been rocked recently by a scandal that saw two of the top riders, Jan Ullrich of Germany and Ivan Basso of Italy, kicked out of the Tour de France after a doping probe. Obviously, after seven fruitless years of testing Armstrong, cycling officials decided that rather than waste all their extra plastic cups, maybe it makes sense to test other men. The results are, so far at least, a black mark on cycling’s premier event.

But that pales in comparison to what the French are enduring today. They’re crying in their freedom frites.

They got the bleus.

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