It’s Joey Lawrence night on ‘Dancing’

You could be forgiven for having believed that the next time you heard someone say it was Joey Lawrence Night, they would be referring to an ’80s theme event where everyone wore stone-washed denim and impersonated Joey Lawrence. But Tuesday was Joey Lawrence Night on “Dancing With The Stars” (Tuesdays/Wednesdays, 8:00 p.m. ET), and there was no mockery involved. Well, not much, anyway.

For the second week in a row, in what is threatening to become a pattern, the men (who did the quickstep) seemed to dominate the women (who did the mambo), and Joey dominated most of all. In a sharp green-accented suit, he completed a dance so closely resembling the Platonic ideal of a “Dancing” quickstep that he received a 9 and two 10s — impressive so early in the season. Not only did Joey do the traditional elements of the dance substantially better than any of the other men, but he got away with — it must be admitted — an adorable flourish by adding a short taste of the tap dancing he swears he last practiced at five years old.

Not getting away with the taking of such liberties was Mario Lopez, last week’s technical standout, who got so caught up in showing off his slick moves that he forgot that most of them actually weren’t part of a quickstep. He found himself roundly punished by the judges because, of course, it is important to guard against the show turning into less than a perfectly pure dance competition. Mario plummeted to the back part of the pack after seeming last week to be a favorite, and this will be the moment where he learns how much fan support he has to prop him up when his scores sag.

The sentimental favorite from a sad-sack standpoint had to be Jerry Springer, whose professional partner, Kym, suffered a significant knee injury mid-week. Jerry earned class points for reassuring to Kym that it probably wasn’t worth damaging her knee and her career for the sake of what is, after all, “Dancing With The Stars.” Kym came through nevertheless, and she and Jerry completed an unconventional (“The Quickstep! Now With More Crotch-Kicking!”) but somehow appropriate routine. Jerry may not have talent, but he seems to be trying, and his sense of humor about his own unlikely resilience will almost surely earn him another week or two.

Smith doesn’t live up to expectations
Last week’s surprise was Emmitt Smith, who has proved to be remarkably light on his feet for a guy who used to get his ribs crushed for a living. This week’s quickstep was not quite as good, in part because Emmitt has made the mistake of raising expectations. The rehearsal footage, which is usually dull, revealed that Emmitt struggled with the stiff-shouldered posture that the quickstep requires, in part because he was used to dropping his shoulders to run with a football. Cheryl strapped him into a torture device that looked oddly like a Thighmaster to hold his body in place during practice. It was easy to see during their dance that he had those shoulders locked, so apparently, Cheryl knows what she’s doing.

Maybe the most interesting case among the men was Harry Hamlin, who was so wooden last week that he could have been whittled into a pipe. This week, partner Ashly called in a practitioner of “laughter yoga” to force Harry to guffaw unnaturally in an effort to improve his demeanor. Honestly, Harry still looks almost as stiff as before. What is remarkable, though, is that it is evident that he has no rhythm. None. Zero. Nevertheless, he has applied himself with complete sincerity to the task of learning to dance. He executed a competent quickstep, if not an especially lively one.

It may have been a mediocre performance, but considering that he’s a guy who clearly couldn’t stomp his feet in time with “We Will Rock You,” it speaks well of him that he can do most of such a punchy, carefully timed dance through sheer force of will, concentration, and training. Harry is probably performing above his natural affinity for dancing more than anyone else in the competition, because his natural affinity for dancing certainly appears to be a negative number.

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